I'm just another person trying to get through life without falling through a gaping hole of fatal casualties. It's all the same to me though, and everything that has made my life hell has helped me get stronger and go through everyday because we keep living.
May 5, 2013:
I wish we’d have had sex before you left me. Because now I don’t even know if I mean anything to you. The more you hear her scream your name, the easier it makes it for you to forget mine.
June 28, 2013:
Her hands are touching you where mine used to. You don’t smell like me anymore. I wonder if you’ve noticed.
July 4, 2013:
I haven’t heard your voice in three months but every night I listen to that eight second voicemail you left me in April, where you said “Answer the phone. I miss your laugh. I love you.” I wonder how you could be the reason for my heart stopping and at the same time be the reason it beats.
August 11, 2013:
I laid in the middle of the street at 2 am when I was drunk and tripping on acid. I think I saw you at the other side, telling me to get the fuck up and go back home. Hallucination, or not, you saved me.
September 5, 2013:
You held my hand and traced “marry me” over my palm. You didn’t think I knew what you wrote, so I asked, “What are you writing?” You just smiled and said, “I’m reading your future.” I knew what you wrote. How could you let go of me so easily?
October 24, 2013:
After I found out about her, I cried for eleven hours straight. It’s been six months, but to this day, it still feels like a punch in the stomach when I remember how you told me she was the girl of your dreams. You said that I’m your Rosaline, but that she’s your Juliet. I don’t get how you could be so cruel.
November 17, 2013:
I can’t sleep anymore because you’re the only thing I dream about. My therapist told me she thinks it’s time to move on from you, so I got a new therapist.
December 30, 2013:
You saved me and as you were carrying me away from the fire, you took one look at it and threw me in. And you didn’t even bother to watch me burn.
May 5, 2014:
I drunk texted you that I need you. Thank you for not answering.-I found my old journal that I wrote in to help me move on from you. It took 394 days, but I no longer fall asleep thinking of you. (via vodkaax)